Buy Stuff at Amazon? You Can Help Olivia Jade

Everybody buys stuff at Amazon, don’t they?  Personally, I’d be a little afraid to tally up my lifetime of purchases from Amazon.  I’ve bought countless (actual paper) books from Amazon.  Tricia and I both have Kindles, and we love them.  If we buy a new book, we try to buy it in Kindle format.  You can really take them anywhere.  It’s so easy to slip a Kindle into your bag or jacket pocket anytime you know you’ll have to wait a little bit (unless you have toddlers with you).

But, I’m not trying to sell you a Kindle.  Anytime you buy something from Amazon, you can buy it through our affiliate link.  You pay the same low Amazon price, and you get the same quick Amazon shipping.  But, Amazon gives us a small slice of the sale.  It’s a small slice, but it adds up over time.  Here’s how:

  1. Click on http://amzn.to/15Wgc7y or the one on the right hand side, which will always be there.
  2. Once you’re at the Amazon page, bookmark the link.  We recommend putting it in your bookmark bar across the top of your browser so it’s very handy.  Label the bookmark something like “Amazon Olivia.”  Then, you can easily click the bookmark next time you shop at Amazon.
  3. Or, you can use the short link http://amzn.to/15Wgc7y
  4. Shop away at Amazon.

Amazon thanks you, and Olivia Jade thanks you!

P.S.  If you do buy a Kindle, buy it through our affiliate link.

 

 

We Celebrated Olivia Jade’s Second Birthday!

Olivia birthday gift

Monday night we went to our favorite little hole in the wall neighborhood Chinese restaurant to celebrate Olivia’s second birthday.  We’ve actually had a birthday for each of our kids before we adopted them.  Olivia should have received the package of gifts above by her birthday.  Hopefully, pictures of her opening the presents will show up soon.

It was so cute to see how excited Julia and Rion were for Olivia’s birthday!  It probably didn’t hurt that we gave them each a present instead.  Julia’s got a big grin on her face because she got an “Olivia dress,” which makes her look like Olivia’s cartoon pig alter ego.  Rion got his very own mini camp chair.

The kids are so excited they’re getting a little sister and can’t wait to go to China and get her.  They’d leave tomorrow if they could.

Julia Olivia dressOlivia birthday poster

 

 

Something Beautiful from Loss

Image

I was putting Julia, our oldest adopted, to bed the other night when she asked me, “Baba, when did you come to live with your family.”  My heart hurt a little as I tried to explain that I had always lived with my family from the day of my birth, because I wasn’t adopted.

We’ve been very open with Julia about her adoption, and we work very hard to put a positive light on it.  Plus, she observed the entire process when we adopted Rion.  But, no matter what I do, Julia’s adoption carries with it the loss and hurt of abandonment and rejection by those who should have cared for her.  In China, it very well may be a societal rejection as well.

I think this post from Michael Monroe offers some beautiful but heartwrenching thoughts about adoption.  He quotes an adult adoptee who reminds us adoptive parents that, “There is no adoption without loss . . . but sometimes adoptive parents tend to forget that.”  Monroe continues to say, “God is not writing a fairy tale with our lives, no matter how much I wish it so.  Instead, He’s writing a real life story that involves real people living in a broken world.  But it is also a story of hope.”

Logged In!

Today we received a pretty, formal letter from our wonderful adoption agency, Great Wall China Adoption.  The letter gave our log in date with CCCWA, China’s adoption oversight agency, of February 26, 2013.  This took a little less than two weeks after our agency sent our dossier to China.  Now, the wait begins for receipt of our official letter seeking confirmation, which is the official referral of Olivia from China.  (Then, we can post pictures of this adorable little girl for you to see!)  Great Wall says referral is taking between 5 and 12 weeks right now.  To be honest, we’ve almost always received things faster than the average or estimated time.  God works in the details, thankfully.

We’re Off to China! Err, Our Dossier Is Anyway

We’re triple certified!  We found out yesterday that the Chinese consulate in San Francisco finally authenticated our dossier.  They sent it out Thursday Fed Ex overnight to our adoption agency Beijing just in time for the weekly package to their Beijing office.  Great Wall hand delivers to the China Center of Adoption Affairs, which is the Chinese government agency that oversees all adoptions in China.

The international adoption process involves a surprising amount of certifying this, that or the other thing.  You need many signatures notarized.  Your doctor’s signature on your physical needs to be notarized.  Your social worker’s signature on your home study needs to be notarized.  Of course, your signature needs to be notarized as well.  Then, you have the state government secretary of state’s office certify that the notaries your used are in fact notaries in your state.  Finally, you send it to the Chinese consulate so they can certify that the secretary of state is in fact your secretary of state.  That’s the simplified version.

What’s timeline look like now?  Our adoption agency estimates it’s taking between 2 and 6 weeks to get a “log in” date, which is confirmation they’ve received your dossier and put it in their system.  Then, it’s taking between 5-12 weeks for the “letter seeking confirmation,” which is the official Chinese referral of the potential child to us.  So, our current wait time is between 7 and 18 weeks.  After that, we’ll need travel approval from the Chinese government, our U.S. consulate appointment, our Chinese visas, and our tickets to fly!  Then, we’re off to China for real!

How Big is God?

“You don’t want a God so small you completely understand Him.”  Chris Brown, Pastor, North Coast Church, Vista, California

Wait, We Weren’t Supposed to be Doing This Yet!

For a couple who decided not to pursue another adoption until 2014, we were doing strange things.  Tricia never did stop looking at waiting children in China on the internet. I began looking for a new adoption agency, making some inquiries and asking others for recommendations. I looked at a few, and sent emails to a few.  But we remained committed to give it a year or longer before pursuing anything seriously.

By fall, thoughts of another adoption started to enter our minds.  After all, it’d taken us more than a year after submitting our dossier to China to find Rion on the waiting child list.  So we knew that it would take a while for an adoption to happen even if we did get started.  Meanwhile, Rion was starting to bond with our family and we were bonding with him.  He and Julia started to build an amazing friendship.  It was great to see him blossom and grow.

After our social worker recommended Great Wall China Adoption, we began to look at them more seriously.  They’re one of the largest agencies working in China, and they had private partnerships with six different social welfare institutes.  As a result, they have a bigger list of available kids than most agencies.

About six months after bringing Rion home, Tricia called Great Wall and spoke to someone in the China Waiting Child program.  They discussed the possibility of reusing some of Rion’s dossier which you can do if you adopt within a year.  (Dossier is short for lots and lots of documents regarding your life that take an endless amount of time and effort to gather.) But the child we would adopt would have to be a Special Focus child – a child with a more complicated special need, possibly an older child, definitely one who would be more difficult to place.  We were looking for a young (maybe 2 year old) girl, with minor special needs.  Kimberly, the woman from Great Wall, agreed that it would be pretty unlikely to find a child that would fit that profile, except, she said for one little girl’s file.  It had just come in that day.  She said she’d send us the file of this little Special Focus child.

We opened our email to find the cutest little girl just under two years old with medical issues that we definitely felt we could handle.  Our hearts just melted, and we almost couldn’t say yes fast enough.

Throughout our adoptions, God’s demonstrated that He absolutely works in the details.  We were not in any kind of hurry to pursue another adoption even though we were making preliminary inquiries.  We still can’t quite understand how Olivia was labeled “special focus”.  But there was at an error in her file that suggested she had a problem that she actually didn’t even have.  Tricia happened to call Great Wall before they made Olivia’s availability public.  Given her young age and her minor medical issues, it’s likely that another family would have quickly chosen her.  But we believe that God meant her to be ours and He just made all the pieces fit.

Adoption Fatigue

The Family Network

A year after bringing Julia home, we started the process again for a little brother or sister. It took longer than expected, but two and a half years after Julia we brought home little Rion.  We adopted Rion, our ever energetic second kid, from Taiyuan City in the Shanxi province of China in May 2012.  He was a little over 3 years old and brought with him a whole new set of adoption challenges.  Our social workers at The Family Network prepared us to deal with the feelings of grief and loss during the adoption transition.  After our relatively smooth adoption of Julia from China in 2009, we felt well prepared.

Rion had lived in one foster home since he was an infant and he had been spoiled and loved!  While the spoiling wasn’t so good, we knew the love he had experienced would give him the ability to love us too and it was a great start for his life.  But the transition was HARD!  Imagine taking any 3 year old from the only family he knows and handing him to strangers who don’t speak his language, don’t look like him, and in an instant he has lost everything he knows and loves.  He has the clothes on his body and that’s it.  It was tough!  The first days and weeks were filled with Rion’s grief and anger at being taken from his foster parents. And despite our training, and the obvious grief he was dealing with, it was hard for us to love him when he was so difficult.  We felt protective of Julia who was dealing with jealousy issues.  We ourselves were tired, jet-lagged, living out of suitcases in a foreign country, and just having a rough time.

The second day with Rion, we ‘d reached our wit’s end.  At one point late that afternoon, Tricia and I sat for a brief rest on a park bench in China with Rion throwing a terrible tantrum.  The deafening noise caught the ear of a police officer who stood across the walk and stared at us.   Of course, our guide and interpreter had the afternoon off.  Tentatively, we started walking to the Pizza Hut at the park edge for dinner.  Thank God, the officer didn’t follow us, even with Rion screaming at the top of his lungs.  And trust me, we found out early, the boy’s got lungs.

It didn’t get any better at Pizza Hut either.  Rion kept screaming at the top of his lungs inside the Pizza Hut.  Quickly, we decided we couldn’t torture the other diners with his noise.  So, I took Rion outside and sat on the steps with him, holding him and listening to him screaming.  Trish sat inside with Julia and ate pizza.  Then, she came outside and took her turn with Rion.  Tricia and I struggled mightily to keep it together with the help of a lot of prayer.  By night’s end, after we’d finally put the kids to sleep, we just wanted to take Rion, go home, and not think about another adoption.

Even after we got home it was hard.  Rion threw insanely long and loud tantrums when he didn’t get his way.  We had to try and put aside our desire to discipline and instead to focus on helping him through this complicated grieving process, but it was so hard.

We’d dealt with adoption, the adoption paper chase, the home studies, the waiting, the praying and the agonizing since May 2008.  We’d had one failed international adoption attempt in Kyrgyzstan, one joyful adoption in China in 2009, and, so far, one challenging adoption.  We needed a break from it all, period.

We agreed not to talk about adoption again until 2014.  Then we agreed to talk about it in 2013, but just not do anything until 2014.  However, despite all our plans, throughout the summer God was moving in us….